it’s times like these when I can’t breathe that I realise I’m just a small being in this enormous universe, where no one will notice if I ever go missing one day. that I don’t really matter anyways.

and today, I realised something. when you say you want to leave, you’re not really letting go but merely pretending to. does it mean that they still love each other and will get back if there is a chance? I don’t believe there is such a thing called chance. everything happens for a reason. even the bad things…

I can’t see my future, and its bad. I know because I could. but now, it’s just a blank. blank mess of nothing that matters. maybe u should just let it go completely and not think about it. live my life like I used to, cramming everything in to full the big scary void. yes, maybe I should do that.

how can two people get together for so long suddenly drift apart unknowingly? it’s so scary to think what’s going to happen now. I just wish it will go away, whatever, just go away.

im really starting to believe that there is no one in this world for me. no one that truly understands me or belong to me. just myself probably. alone till I die.

and some people think suicidal people are stupid. I think at least they got rid of their sadness. even though they are brave for the wrong reasons. in the wrong things.

can you tell me what you have installed for me in my life? just promise me it won’t suck so bad. please.